Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
