Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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