Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
