Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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