There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
