oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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