im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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