woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
