i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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