don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
where am i from again
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
