3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
