I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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