and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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