Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
