I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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