North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
