please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
