I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
not ubering you a puppy
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
