I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
