you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize