You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
