just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
