did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
