This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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