No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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