i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
