I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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