Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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