First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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