I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he thought i was a dude.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
