Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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