i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
