i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize