i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
