i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
