We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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