When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
