If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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