marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
