At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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