I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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