Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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