OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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