And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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