somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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