If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
last night I used snow as a chaser
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Shame - the story of my life.
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