i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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