Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
