Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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