Its about making memories worth repressing
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
