You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
