I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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