Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
