In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
