then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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