K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize