i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
