This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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