dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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