so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
