i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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