the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
