You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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