lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
