Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
