# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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