Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Sorry my hands just texted you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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